All the little things that degrade your SELF. :: Jackson Hole.

​All the little things that degrade your SELF.  

Jackson Hole. 

Mom was all I had.  I didn't have a supportive sister or even a supportive Aunt.  EVERYONE in 'the family' treated Mom like The Queen of England because, like The Queen, she also paid for most of their stuff!  "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." (-money!) 

Even when it was GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that I was in the right and she was wrong, NO ONE would stand up for me.  I guess I feel a little like Harry - a bit shit on for no good reason - with my  cousin taking William's role in this play.  

One of the Top 10 of occurrences was when 'we' went on a "family" vacation to Wyoming - a place the sisters happily spent some time as children. "William" - aka Mom's nephew - was headed there for a business thing and he convinced everyone to meet him out there - and of course, for HIM, we all obliged.  How much did Mom pay of their expenses?  Dunno.  But I guarantee it was more than her fair share.

*I*, on the other hand, was going to make that year THE year I finally got to France.  But of course, The Queen summoned me, and like a dutiful servant, I dropped all MY plans and went along with hers (and his).  This was his doing.  It was a good idea and I'm glad we went, but flip the script and would ANY of my "family" members ever have traveled with me to a place *I* wanted to go???  Hell no.

So we get to Jackson Hole.  "William" is in meetings and won't meet up with us until dinner.  (More on THAT later.)  So "the family" who at this point is me, my mom, my aunt (her only sister), her son (mom's nephew), his wife (and they are actually separated at the time), and their two pre-teen children.   My uncle is still alive, but he chose not to attend.

Day One.  We have a rental car and we've done all of downtown Jackson Hole.  FYI I'm not enamored with "The West" like 'they' are.  I don't care about buying cowboy boots or any of that.  That's their thing.  What DO I do while they shop for western wear?  I buy a Christmas ornament for my Mommie to save and give to her that Christmas.  (This will be important later.)

All of them were getting cold.  It was June but about to snow (MY cup of tea - again, not theirs.) "They" want to go back to the hotel.  I ASK if I may keep the car because I wanted to explore more.  ALL THREE ADULTS AGREED.  I assumed they would take the kids swimming.  I drove away feeling fine.  I take a spectacular drive into the unknown.  This area is stunning in natural beauty - literally like nothing I've ever seen before.  Then I see a sign for a SPA!  I had to laugh.  "Put me in the middle of a desert and like a homing pigeon I'd find the nearest spa!"  I go in to look around, ask if they have any services available.  They do!  BUT FIRST - being the thoughtful, kind, and considerate daughter I am - I call the hotel to leave word of where I am and to let them know I'll meet up with them at dinner.  Mom's room phone doesn't answer so I leave a message.  Let me try my Aunt's room.  Again no answer, so I leave her a message, too. [In case you can't tell, this was before cell phones!]

I had a splendiferous time at the spa.  Took notes to take home and implement at Vanities.  Looked out the window at horses.  Said to myself, "I need to come back here in the winter and see their other kind of beauty."  Drove back to the hotel beaming with SPA EUPHORIA!!! 

I went in my room and saw a note Mom had written to me.  I don't even know how to explain this.  It was . . . just so many words to berate me.  "You are ruining my trip."  "You TOOK the car leaving us STRANDED!!!"  I'm getting sick to my stomach just trying to recall all the slander.  All the hurt.  It was AWFUL.  And WHY???  Good question, normal person.  Why?  ALL she needed to say was 'we've gone to XYZ restaurant, come over when you get in.' But no.  She went on, and On, AND ON to the point where ALL of my joy was pooled on the floor in a sea of tears.  Tears so strong and devastating that I decided to get out my camcorder and record myself to show BOTH Mom and Aunt what she does to me.  

This isn't right.  

The ONE friend I had at the time when hearing this story said, "Have they never heard of a TAXI before?"  

I STRANDED you???  You were in a hotel getting ready for dinner.  You all were freezing and didn't WANT to go back out.  

More unnecessary obliteration from a crazy person.

Oh, and this restaurant picked by "William" was one of those meat-focused places where they hang the dead animal's heads over your head as you eat them!  DEFINITELY NOT ONE OF MY PLACES.

But God, or Spirits or some benevolent force lifted me up and made this night right.

"A little voice said unto me", "I still have the keys to the car!" "There is no way in HELL I am going to slaughterhouse dinner with you all, but I can find something more ME to eat."  And more ME I got!

Driving around I saw this FRENCH restaurant, and I was like, "Thank GOD something for ME."  But God was just getting warmed up.  What none of us realized was that Jackson Hole hosts a Hollywood style movie festival every year and we were smack dab in it!  This wasn't just a French restaurant for Nancy, it was an Australian Wine Hosted Hollywood Party!!!  I floated in with some others, was presented my Aussie hat and handed a glass of yummy Aussie wine, and off I went into MY world!

Benevolent spirits hard at work showing me they actually care about ME, even when - and especially when my family doesn't.  This will go down as another moment proving evidence of God (or however you call or describe it) is REAL.

Sadly, he can't fix the dysfunction - sorry, MASSIVE DYSFUNCTION - of my shitty family because their abuse of me continued the very next morning.

I went down for breakfast and no one else was there, so I sat at a table big enough for everyone.

They come in.

They walk past me.

They sit at a table far away from me.

Nice.

PS - These are "Christian" people.  People who attend church every Sunday.  People who put Christian sayings all throughout their house.

When I finally get a chance to attempt to be heard from this Court loving family, I start with my Aunt, usually the Diplomat of the family.  Mind you her son "William" is a Family Court Judge and his wife was a Para-legal.  Court IS their happy place.  

So I attempted to present myself before 'the court' to clear my name of such injustice of using the one car we all had, AFTER asking PERMISSION and being granted permission to drive my adult self around a bit before dinner.  She wanted to hear nothing.  Mom was right and I was wrong.  No hearing from YOU!    You don't get a "fair trial".  Convicted.  Hang her!

I tried SEVERAL times to explain that I not only left a message for Mom's room, but also for HER room.  "We never got any messages."  Being tech illiterate, I would suppose she would have no idea what a blinking light on a hotel phone would mean, but Mom would.  How did TWO people miss my messages?  Maybe the hotel never sent word?  But why give Nancy the benefit of doubt when you can CRUCIFY her with no proof or evidence?  That's bad lawyering.  And a HORRIBLE way to treat your niece.


And that was Day One (and breakfast).

It's going to be a LONG trip.

~N.
April 1, 2026